


1 John 1:9

by avatricewarrior



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: Avatrice, F/F, Femslash, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Making Out, Mutual Pining, Pining, Religion, Sexual Tension, ava the dumbass, beatrice the poet, enjoy !!!!, just a little though, poor sisters, the tension bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:13:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25837075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avatricewarrior/pseuds/avatricewarrior
Summary: "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."Beatrice has urges that weigh on her shoulders, so she decides to put them into a letter, sealed away. Turns out the universe had other plans for her...
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva
Comments: 18
Kudos: 268





	1 John 1:9

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i have no clue what this is, randomly had an idea so i hope yall like it. its not supposed to be smut its simply beatrice confessing her feelings in her own way and dealing with it but we all know ava. enjoy!! english isnt my first language so if you spot any mistakes let them be known i will correct them right away x 
> 
> p.s. its a bit messy at the end bc i wasnt sure how to round it up, i'll do better next time though lol

> _"Dear God,_
> 
> _I must call upon you, for my consciousness has been shaken up by my selfish and repented urges. Though it screams immorality, impurity, debauchery - I feel myself unable to remove them entirely, for whenever the trigger passes me, my body lights up. I, your creation and thankful for every god given attribute making up my being, want to hereby bring forth my urges to you in truthful honesty and in trust._
> 
> _Ever since I let my eyes travel to another and all over one of your many creations, I can't keep my gaze off of her. Matthew 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Above all, I took my very vows in order to prove my repentance to you and keep away the sinful thoughts, calling to me as "out of line". Now that my cravings are once again intoxicating my own, I feel as if I am betraying you and disrespecting the vows which hold my relationship in all faithfulness to you, my Lord._
> 
> _I must admit, even though I have tried my hardest to prevail these devilish thoughts and control all my senses, I failed after all. To be honest to you, means to be honest to myself for you are everything that I am. Laying down my deepest desires in front of you, in hopes that you will show me forgiveness for seeking out guidance to you._
> 
> _Anytime this woman - she - is near me, my senses overload and I get lured in by her familiar, addicting scent. Suddenly every cell, nerve, skin peel is yearning for proximity to her. Imagining freezing and melting at the same time, is a very fitting description of the peculiar emotion which washes over me whenever she is around._
> 
> _I want her badly, I would go as far as saying that it has evolved into needing her in the sense of feeling complete, like every bone in my body is screaming for the missing part which happens to inhabit her body. You must forgive, for I cannot rest my mind without the image filling my mind day and night, not pausing even in my dreams._
> 
> _It is getting harder with every passing day that goes by, forced to train with her and seeing trickles of sweat running aggravatingly slow, down her prominent chest. Sparring and having to pin her down to the mat, in order to get victory, though the true winning is finally being close to her even for a moment, a split second. When she licks her lips, making the hairs on my neck and every body part stand up in eagerness._
> 
> _My self control is wavering with any more time that is spent together, I can't refuse either because truthfully, I don't mind despite the inner conflict of interests._
> 
> _Today I could barely bare it anymore, for some reason I simply felt overcome with crashing waves of emotions that should stay buried for every day that I am serving God. I felt like I've overstepped and became a sinner beyond return, I had to confess my inner process to you and come clean to myself._
> 
> _I have been feeling urges towards a woman I am not committed to relationship wise, still I see and feel her in everything I do. All the ghosts of her touches, affectionate ways are burned into my skin, reminding me of the sense._
> 
> _I want to touch her bronzed skin, brush my fingertips against every patch of it covering her body, until I can pinpoint every beauty mark on the map that she is. I want to memorize all of her god given body with my very own hands, tracing every inch and appreciate its holy creation._
> 
> _Kiss her luscious, beautifully pink colored lips. Talking words only through ghosting our lips against one another, feel the tickle of breathe on our shared mouths. I want to feel out of control and lose myself in her being, devote myself fully to sharing the same air with the one I desire._
> 
> _I want to explore her mouth with my own, I want to earn the granting of entering with my tongue to make out the insides. Intertwining our muscles until strings of saliva connect us like a thin line, holding on for dear life._
> 
> _My lips yearning to roam her lips, down to her neck and thighs, I want them to trail down until I'm lightly kissing her feet. Leaving love bites all over, marking even the tiniest sweet spot until her body is covered with my sinful, wordless confession of submitting to her and her belonging to me._
> 
> _I want to trickle down kisses to her chest, breathe against every area of beautiful soft skin until goosebumps arise. Craving to see her slowly fall apart by my loving and attention, her mouth opening to let unholy sounds fall out like rivers, only meant for my ears to hear._
> 
> _I want to worship every angle, every curve, every mold of body parts with my palms until I'm able to recreate her with clay to perfection, lying down my gratitude for Gods creation. Firmly holding her breasts, letting my mouth roam over them to do every motion possible, to fulfill her pleasure._
> 
> _I want our bodies to become one, flushed against one another so very close that we can feel the beat of two hearts at the same time. Igniting a flame in the deepest depths of her, creating a place for myself to inhabit through sheer lust._
> 
> _Imagining my very own hands moving under her filled, soft thighs to hold her legs up gently. Opening the gate to her fountain of youth, the greatest gift granted by Mother Nature and God himself, my Lord. My warm breath hovering over the glistening folds, wet from sexual appetite and passion. I want the tingling sensation of simply exhaling onto her womanhood, to travel up her spine, to her head and back down her chest, making those beautiful pink buds stand up in all their grace._
> 
> _Hearing her frantic, sporadic breathing turn into quivering lips trying to inhale enough air into her lungs. I want to take a sip from her fountain, taste her rare juices not daring to waste one drop be it the smallest of all. I want to savor the taste of her on my tongue, lapping up all that she graciously has to give to me, for me._
> 
> _I want to feel her hands slide in and out of my hair, trying to inch away from the overwhelming waves of pleasure overcoming her shaking, arching body. Running my hands all along those curves, like fruits ready to be picked. Holding gently onto her, like she's made of porcelain and one too tight squeeze could break her._
> 
> _A victory I desire, hearing her moan out my name like a prayer, pronouncing every letter with a nuance of delight that her release was finally brought upon her, in the most deserving, pleasuring way to exist - by making love._
> 
> _Sharing one last kiss with her taste covering my own, sharing the fragrance and pure flavor of unconditional, raw lust._
> 
> _I desire her in every unfaithful way in existence._
> 
> _Forgive me Lord, for I want to sin._
> 
> _Beatrice."_
> 
> * * *

The only thing to be heard was heavy, shaky breathing coming from behind the wooden door. She was at a loss for words, not knowing how to quite process the written, cursive winged words on the paper, nearly scrunched in her hand from trying to hold on to something. 

Ava felt her blood rush to her cheeks, ears burning up and her pulse going through the roof. 

She couldn't believe that she found an open letter written by a lust driven Sister Beatrice, _the_ person that is usually the most collected, calmest and organized out of all members of the OCS. Maybe this was simply a - very - messed up dream? No, she already pinched herself twice, so it couldn't be that. It would've made things easier though, in all honesty. 

"Okay, calm down Ava. Just breathe you got this..." she exhaled the last word, trying to bring her nerves down. 

The question one might ask would be " _D_ _on't you feel weirded out?"_ well, at first she did but it was rapidly swapped by the burning feeling in her core. She was pretty positive that her panties were soaked at this point. 

She was leaning against Beatrice's desk, pushing herself up with her hands pressed onto the surface, knuckles already white from the pressure. 

"Ava?" 

Her heart suddenly skipping a beat nearly made her cough up, when she turned around and saw the source of her torn up and desperate state. Beatrice was standing there, gracefully as ever in her neatly put on habit, with her hand still on the doorknob. 

"What are you doing here, not that I am meaning to kick you out" she softly asked, slightly raising her left eyebrow. 

"I- well- was looking for you" Ava realized it sounded more like a question than an answer, "I mean I was but then I thought why not just wait for you in here because I uh-" she paused quickly and took a big gulp "- wanted to talk to you." 

Beatrice chuckled lightly "Alright then, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" 

Ava was struggling to string sentences together, both her mind and body weren't reacting the way she ordered them to. What she failed to realize as well, she was still holding the letter in her hand, which was behind her back. 

"I forgot" 

"You forgot...but waited in here for how long?", the Sister sounded amused at Ava's poor attempt of covering up her tracks, she just hasn't figured out what exactly it was that she's hiding, yet. 

"Yes well, you know, I'm not the biggest brainiac in here", she forced a chuckle and hoped to God that it sounded genuine enough. 

Beatrice crossed her arms, taking slow steps towards the brunette leaning against her desk. She was trying her hardest to stay in control, to not let the woman occupying her room notice her inner struggle. 

She stopped right in front of Ava, staring her dead in the eye. 

"What's that behind you?" 

"W-What do you mean" 

The nun raised her eyebrow even more at her reply, not buying into it. 

"Ava. Show me. Now." 

"I'd rather not to be quite frank with y-" 

Before Ava could even finish the last word, the Nun had her turning on the spot and swiftly grabbed the letter right out of her hand. Suddenly the room fell silence, nothing to be heard except for their breathing. 

She got nervous when she saw Beatrice standing still, not moving an inch just staring at the paper. After what felt like an eternity, she heard her exhale slowly and noticed her cheeks blushing a nice shade of pink. 

"Did you..." she hesitated but Ava gave her a small nod, focusing her gaze on the ground which never seemed more interesting to her than right now. 

"I'm sorry, I understand if you feel uncomfortable with this..." Beatrice squeezed her eyes shut and dragged out another exhale " ...with me." 

Ava was munching on her bottom lip the whole time, until she heard her friends words and looked at her intently. She saw her fidgeting with her hands, looking past Ava's shoulder so to avoid her gaze. 

"I'm not" 

Beatrice was about to speak up again in refusal, when she felt Ava step forward now only being a mere few inches away from her own face. She was able to feel her breathe on her skin, sending goosebumps all over body and down her spine. She wasn't sure whether to move away or not, she was at the brink of losing the battle against her deepest desire, dearly hoping this moment would be short lived. 

Ava let her gaze fall from the nuns eyes to her plump lips, she always wondered what it would feel like to kiss them. She licked her lips, moving dangerously close into Beatrice's personal space, hoping she wouldn't inch away. 

"What if I told you that I want you too" she dared to question.

The nun felt a spark shoot into her stomach, moving down to her core. This was absolute torture but she shamefully had to admit that she loved it with all her being. 

"I wouldn't know whether to believe you" 

Ava slowly moved her right hand to cup the other's neck, inhaling sharply when she felt Beatrice breathe onto her lips, the gap between them insufferably small that a tiny push would connect them. 

"Beatrice... I want you, I want you to do everything that you've confessed. I want to say your name into the night and know that I belong to you, please Bea" 

Something inside of her broke when she heard these words, relieving her off of her chains and making her leap forward to capture Ava's lip between her own. A growl erupted from the back of her throat, when she heard her moan into the kiss. She was losing all her self control, with every sloppy kiss they shared, with every touch and roaming of their tongues, feeling their bodies pressed together. 

Beatrice pushed the other woman back to the desk and lifted her up gently to place her on top and get better access. She slowly traced her fingers under the fabric of Ava's shirt and lightly stroked her way up. Ava was gripping her shoulders, digging her nails into them to ground herself and keep their distance as small as possible, wanting to feel everything. 

Eventually they had to break apart for air, letting their foreheads touch and catching their breaths simultaneously, both smiling at each other with dilated pupils screaming for more. 

"I want you so badly, I don't mind becoming a sinner for you" Beatrice panted against her lips. 

Ava smiled lazily at her lover, wanting to remember this moment before completely losing herself in her. 

"Make me yours, Beatrice." Ava whispered.

"You're already mine" Beatrice muttered and went for another kiss, one of many to come that night. 

* * *

"We're not gonna talk about it." Mary mutters, looking straight forward. 

"Nope." Lilith added. 

"Absolutely not." Camila whispered. 

**Author's Note:**

> well shit, 3 traumatized nuns.


End file.
